If you call and ask me if I do past-life regression hypnosis, I am going to ask you to call someone else.

So here I am in the third session with Michael,  a vet who completed four tours: one in Afghanistan and three in Iraq.

To say he has PTSD is not really strong enough. I want you to understand that he has SERIOUS POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER.

I want to warn you not to threaten him. I have written down a list of his triggers and I promise you, I will not forget any of them while in his presence.

He is sweet and thoughtful and not someone you want to provoke. He tells me about the civilian guy who put a gun in his face and asked for his wallet. Yes, Michael was on crutches, but his body momentarily forgot the shrapnel lodged in his spinal cord. The guy with the gun went down, hard.

He tells me things, horrific things, the kind of things I very intentionally never watch in movies.  And yet, I find that I can listen to what he has experienced and I don’t wince or want to jump from my chair. I am almost as neutral as I would be by the news that you put a banana down the garbage disposal.

Woven between his tales is a tired soldier’s search for his own humanity. How do you reconcile acts of war with who you are?

He ruminates,  “Am I the big soft bear who likes to save people or am I Rambo with ice in my guts?”

Healers tell stories and for no reason that I am consciously aware of I find myself telling him about my dear friend Camille’s husband. She says that although he has lived in Seattle for twenty years, he can get lost coming home. When they go somewhere together,to protect their marriage, she drives. And yet, when they visited Rome, this same husband had a GPS in his head. She would be studying a map and he simply seemed to know the lay of the land.

As I tell Michael this story, I feel a chill down my spine. I recognize this as words that have come out of my mouth for reasons I don’t understand and they have landed like a truth that needed to breathe. His relief is palatable. And then some force opens my mouth again, and I say, “Maybe you were a soldier in another life time.”

Michael comes to his appointments prepared. His mind is spilling out torturous thoughts and memories. He will sometimes stop and say, “I know I just laid a lot on you.”

I am not surprised, but he is, when he says,

“The first time I was in a situation where all hell broke loose, I remember looking over and seeing my squadron leader frozen. Shots and soldiers are all around me. It is real mayhem and I am barking commands. I didn’t even know what they meant until years later when I heard them in the movie. I had no rank. I was new and yet, I had an almost 360 degree sense of who was where and who was an immediate threat and who was not.  They were doing what I said. It was the first time I had the feeling I wasn’t driving, and how was it that I knew those things? But I did. So yes, I absolutely know I have been a soldier before.”

Micheal’s PTSD responds phenomenally well to EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique. After three sessions he is sleeping better. A reoccurring nightmare is gone. And he can tell a few of his worst experiences without feeling the adrenalin coursing through his body.  His reaction to loud sounds has also been dramatically lessened.

I am grateful for Michael for coming into my world and for teaching me things I didn’t know about war, and myself.

I look forward to sharing more as I venture down this path.

Enjoy your long weekend,