Posts Tagged ‘hypnosis seattle’

When my growing girls flip flopped between the comfort of playing with dolls and then reaching out to try on lipstick, my view was compassionate amusement.

Now I am the one flip flopping and I am not feeling particularly compassionate, or amused.

Today I am flat out blue. One of those girls is leaving home to start a life in Washington, DC.

She is determined, lovely, eloquent and brave enough to have made the decision without having a job. All this while friends have been telling her she was foolish.

Well everyone has their opinion, what I know is that we respect people who take chances, go ahead, and believe that it will work out, and it has; and all my pride is not banishing the blue.

So why am I so blue? This daughter has not been in the house for more than a month at a time for the past four years. Recently graduated from college, she has been home for five weeks, just the two of us, and the dog and the cat.

I have more time now. I am not doing the drive bys (this is where you are in such a hurry to get to your appointment, you leave your kid somewhere and then call on the cell phone to make sure they got in). Yes, I was often a crazed single-parent.

For five weeks I have enjoyed folding her laundry, feeding her, hearing about her day. I like all of that, but seriously. I need to dig deeper. Do I feel guilty? Do we parents ever do enough? Am I afraid I won't have enough going on when she is gone? (If you know me, you are laughing here).

I did not cry when either daughter went to kindergarten or college, and I always make jokes about the way mother eagles push their young ones out of the nest and they either make it or Not! Today I cried after I dropped her off at work.

This blue is another curtain closing on my role as Mom. It is another nail in the passing of youth. I can deny the unease of touching my toes, by not trying, but it is impossible to deny that the flipping between busy-Mom and free-Mom is ending.

Does this make me a crone? I love crones, but I am not ready to be one; the title is still for other people. I love being a Mom.

To make matters more intense, I have been sorting family pictures.

Part of this transition is a craving for order. The feng shui consultant has come and gone, and I have projects. I want to enter the next phase peacefully and free of any clutter.

Whew, I do feel better. It is ok to flip flop between happy, sad, and proud.

I did the best I could do, and eagle moms are smart, so out you go girl! Tomorrow, I am buying all of the girls in my family new lipstick!

You may have heard rumblings lately, not from your own stomach, but from the media, comparing today’s financial freeze to the Great Depression.

If you are old enough to read this, you have some image in your mind of what that might mean. I think of my own Mom being sent to the neighborhood grocery store as a little girl because she would not be denied credit, where others in her family might have been.

My friend's mom told of the Italian women cleverly gathering dandelion greens underneath their skirts, so as to not be seen.

I know that my great-grandfather, a well respected merchant, lost his store in the depression.

The word depression conjures up fear. Recession doesn't bring up joyful thoughts either.

We do not know what is going to happen and all the peanut butter in the world is not going to take away the fear of the unknown. The fear is only as real as you make it, because really, fear is the playground for the imagination.

There is a strong connection between distress and sticking something into our mouths.

Imagine a baby screaming: in the top three things of what to do, sticking something into the mouth is on the list. I am sure you have witnessed the desperate ensuing sucks that may, or may not have to do with hunger.

Of course, as adults, we know better. Yes, we do, and when we act against our better judgment, the guilt is enormously heavy. The connection between food and fear is not something we talk about too much. It creeps into my office.

Last week I heard these words from a young mom healing her own relationship with food, "I notice my Mom feeding my baby in a kind of frenzy. He hasn't finished what is in his mouth and more is coming. He can't talk. You can see it in his eyes that he can't keep up."

I noticed it in myself when I was a college kid responsible for a friend's farm. Something had gone wrong and I found myself putting a cookie in my mouth as I headed out the door to see what could be done.

I once had a client with severe test anxiety, who during a test break downed a whole pitcher of beer.In the Middle Ages, beer was valued for its nutrition.

Was he thirsty?   Was I hungry?    Does the little baby have much choice?

Many of us have complex relationships with food and eating that often have nothing to do with being hungry or being sated.

Of course, if you are putting food into your mouth faster than a model changes, you would like to be gently hit in the side of the head with a soft two-by-four, so you will never do it again.

With a little time and dedication, you can change your mind and your behavior.   Find out more..

Sorry I could not resist that headline.

Did you happen to see the dreamy Australian Olympian, Steve Hooker, win the Gold Medal in pole vaulting?I didn't either. Below is a link for you to check out some incredible photographs of pole vaulting.This is not a sissy sport.

Apparently this Seth was throwing tantrums a few years back because he could not make himself do what he wanted to do, which was jump. He had been injured and was afraid. Who can't relate to that?

Hooker told the Australian daily, “ I was in a miserable bad mood. Your whole life, it really brings it down when it’s really what you want to do and you can’t do it just because it’s not clicking in your brain. A lot of people’s careers end with this sort of thing but I just really worked hard. I tried a million different things to try and get around it.”

What finally did it……. hypnosis. And as I read the various interviews, I was fascinated but how he repeatedly describes relaxing and being in the moment.

He says,   “One of the big changes I have made, is that I don’t think about consequences of missing or clearing. I didn’t think about the interviews I would have to do if I missed and came fifth in the Olympics, none of that stuff.”

Of his big night he says, “I was pushing too hard on the runway and I just  really needed to let it go,” he says. “My whole focus at the moment is  about relaxing. I jump much better when I relax. But I wasn’t that  relaxed at the start of the competition.”

Going from throwing tantrums to relaxing into the moment is clearly changing your mind.  We can thank Steve Hooker for giving us a great example of how it can be done.

I have successfully worked with many athletes.

My first experience  was when Alex, a dear friend of ours, asked me to help her get over her fear of high jumping.  She and my daughter braved the track field their Freshman year, and while my daughter took to the High Jump immediately, Alex was afraid, but did not want to be left behind. I worked with her for about twenty minutes.

And to her credit, not only was she jumping the next day, she went on to set the school record in High Jump as a Freshman.  This got me into a bit of trouble with my daughter, but all was forgiven when she went on to Place at state (yes, she had a little hypnotic help).

Most kids access their imagination quickly and can often make changes very quickly.

For instance,this past week I worked with an adorable young girl who was afraid to fall asleep.  EFT is a fun effective way to help kids get over fears and together we sang, "I am going to wipe (her particular scary image) right out of my head…. one.. two…… three… four.. five..and then with the flair of a girl who knew all about Hermine in Harry Potter she said, "Disappear".  Pure magic.

I can not personally speak for her method because I am asleep before I can think about it. However, when I do the little routine:sing "I am going to wipe (chosen message) out of head. One..two..three..four…five…Disappear.  My mood improves immeasurably.

And on that note, you have a fine day.

For the IAAF story on Steve Hooker Pole Vaulting and pictures:

Quote: To surrender is the most noble thing you can do. It is not an act of defeat, but rather an openness to the unknown. T.O.